White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Someone signed my nipple.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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