Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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