Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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