we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
