You really coming over, don't trick.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
