I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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