I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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