Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
