So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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