There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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