Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize