you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
there was a trapeze. enough said
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
