You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
