I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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