shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
