I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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