my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
