Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
