It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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