so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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