thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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