why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
