In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you had me at cake vodka
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
