yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
