Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
