I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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