Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
