Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
