if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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