She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
