I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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