she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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