I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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