1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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