I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
