It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
