apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize