love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
her vagine was all disorganized.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
