I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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