we have officially mastered the walk of shame
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
