did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
