I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
