How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
