He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
