Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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