I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
