dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
