Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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