she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Couch. On fire.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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