do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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