Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize