# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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