guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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