a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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