Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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