i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
