Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
