STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
