Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
