peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
